Across the drinks industry – and society more broadly – definitions of family, identity and inclusion are evolving. This Pride month, we’re celebrating this evolution by sharing the stories of two women and their journey to building queer families. It’s a timely reminder of the importance of visibility and support.
Jac Rifkin (Key Account Manager at Constellation Brands), a long-time wine lover with a decade in liquor retail and now working for a liquor supplier, lives with her wife, Emily, a marketing specialist originally from Mexico. Renee Hanick (Interim People and Culture Director at Australian Vintage), a seasoned HR professional, is married to Alisha, a former chef who retrained as a plumber. Both couples are expecting their first children, due just one day apart in early June.
"In true lesbian style, we first had the conversation [about kids] very early on in our relationship," Jac laughed. “We cornered a friend at a New Year’s Eve party. He said, 'What, do you want my sperm or something?' And we said, 'Yes, we do!'”
Renee and Alisha’s story started like many great queer love stories. “We met in Newtown, of course, the lesbian watering hole,” Renee said with a grin. “I spotted Alisha from across the room and knew I wanted to know her, I was pleasantly surprised when she started to walk towards our group as we had mutual friends, we’ve barely left each other’s side since – a classic lesbian U-Haul story!” They went on to choose an anonymous donor through IVF Australia. “We named our future children six years ago. We're big planners!” Renee shared. “It’s a big decision which avenue you decide as a couple to go down in starting your queer family, and for each couple what feels right to them is different, we chose the anonymous donor path’
Both couples spoke candidly about how long and emotionally taxing the journey to conception can be. IVF, as Jac put it, “becomes your hobby, your full-time job, your life.” Renee added, “You have to be so patient with IVF. It’s a lot of waiting and out of your control.”
As they navigated IVF, work played a huge role in how supported and seen they felt. Both Jac and Renee stressed how valuable it was to have at least one trusted person at work, someone who understood the emotional and logistical demands of the process. “Having flexibility at work meant everything during IVF. It was a lifeline,” Jac said. “There are periods where appointments are daily and spontaneous. You don't want to have to justify each one.” Renee echoed the sentiment. “Having a supportive manager makes all the difference. Just one person is enough. You don’t want to hide your pregnancy; it’s such a joyful time.” These experiences highlight just how much workplaces can impact the journey to parenthood. “IVF is such a personal, emotional process,” Jac said. “The context of our journey has helped people at work understand why things like mood changes or time off happen.”
For both women, being able to show up fully and authentically at work matters. “You spend so much of your time at work, and if you can’t be yourself, it can be incredibly isolating,” Jac reflected. Renee added, “If you’re thinking of starting a family, ask yourself: Do I belong in this workplace? Will I be supported?" While both women praised the support they’ve received, they also acknowledged there’s still progress to be made, particularly around language and policy. “Even now, my wife gets asked at appointments, 'Where’s your husband?' It’s exhausting,” Jac said. Renee has had similar experiences. “People still say things like 'Who’s the father?', intent is everything, usually people just aren’t familiar or aware, so we clarify: 'Oh, you mean the donor?' Of course, it’s up to each person how comfortable they feel in sharing their experience and if they wish to open up further. It’s very personal. It’s important to remember this is their story, and people aren’t entitled to it.”
Parental leave policies across the drinks industry have come a long way in recent years, reflecting a broader push towards genuine inclusivity and gender equality. Where once there was a patchwork of inconsistent approaches, we’re now seeing a shift towards more standardised provisions, with many companies offering upwards of 12 weeks paid leave for primary carers and 2 weeks for secondary carers. In some instances, the industry is seeing parental leave closer to 26 weeks marking significant and meaningful change for queer parents who have often faced additional challenges in accessing equitable support. But there’s still work to do. Both Jac and Renee highlighted the need for mandatory inclusive parental leave across the entire industry, particularly for non-birthing partners. Jac noted “I feel very maternal, and there's an imbalance in how society perceives the roles of birthing versus non-birthing parents.” Renee added that lasting change needs to be driven from the top. “Managers have a responsibility to educate themselves. If you lead people, you need to lead well.” By rethinking outdated norms and building more balanced policies, the industry has the chance to better support all kinds of families — and to ensure caregiving responsibilities are no longer a barrier to thriving careers.
Looking ahead, both Jac and Renee are excited (and a little nervous) for what’s to come. “I’m really excited to see Alisha become a mum. She’s going to be amazing,” Renee said. “I want to nurture a kind human who’ll have a positive impact on the world.” Jac shared, “I’m most looking forward to that feeling of love between parent and child. It's such a unique connection.”
They’re also mindful of the challenges they may face. “It’ll be interesting to reflect a year from now… I’ll probably change all of my answers!” Jac laughed. “But I’ll keep educating my coworkers. People don’t know what they don’t know.”
Both women offered advice for others in the LGBTQIA+ community who are thinking about starting a family. “Find a workplace where you can be your full self,” Renee said. “I decided when I joined my company, I would be loud, proud, and never hide who I am again.” Jac added, “Have someone at work you can talk to. It’s a heavy journey, and you shouldn’t have to carry it alone.”
Post interviewing Jac and Renee, they both welcomed their bundles of joy earlier than expected in May. Jac and Emily welcomed their baby girl, August, on May the 26th, and Renee and Alisha welcomed their baby girl, Monroe, on Thursday the 29th of May.
At Pride in Drinks, we believe stories like Jac’s and Renee’s help shape a better future for our industry. A future that’s inclusive, compassionate and grounded in understanding. As we continue pushing for more inclusive policies and practices. Let’s remember that every family deserves to be celebrated.